PICK OF FEBRUARY 2007

LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum

Just as an indication as to how dedicated I am here at Trash Hits Enterprises, it is 22:26 GMT and I am still scouring piles of singles for gems to polish up for you. Whilst Rain Man is on in the background. And, just like Dustin Hoffman's character, we're damn good with numbers. And this is a bloody good number.

Some people are not yet aware as to how fantastically catchy James Murphy's outfit can be, but we are here to tell you that they often write songs so catchy that it puts velcro to shame. Good velcro too, before you get loads of fluff in it. If we had to describe them - which happens to be our job - we'd say it was 'anti-dicso'; raw, simplistic and to the point. With a groove deeper than the grand canyon and lyrics that are as fabulously self-deprecating as Russell Brand is not, we have another dancefloor classic on our hands. Can't wait for the album. 9/10 LCD-LIGHTFUL

Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby

This is the first single from their new album, which means we've had to go without the Kaiser Cheifs since 2005. Seems a long time doesn't it? Not when you bear in mind that they've appeared on every single music programme, magazine and popular culture product in the meantime. Look Ricky, we're not saying you're whores (you were great on Never Mind The Buzzcocks), but you're certainly 'men about town'.

With that said, it's on to the single review proper, and to the proclamation that Mr Wilson & co. have returned with aplomb. The verses are classic 80s fare - as is the current fashion - and the chorus steals the 'repeating one word trick' from Fran Healey's inexhaustive playbook, but it all works like a well-oiled machine. Much like the Kaiser Chiefs' publicity program. 8/10 POP

Unkle Bob - Put A Record On

What is it with the letter C? Is it really that un-cool? Why do so many people think that it would make a word better, or cooler, by exchanging it with a K? I met a 'Colin, but with a K' once. Kolin? Sounds like some sort of medieval villain on a computer game. Oh well, maybe I'm just out of touch...

'Put A Record On' is excellent advice, delivered beautifully. Singing wistfully about putting on a record and drying your eyes could so easily breach all the rules of credible music making. In fact, the song almost pitches up on your backyard, and relentlessly shouts MOR at you. But ignore it, for Rick Webster and chums are in the business of writing pop masterpieces, and long may it continue. 9/10 PUT ON THIS RECORD, IT'S GORGEOUS

Xerox Teens - Onkawara/B52

What is punk? I mean, what does punk mean to you? Safety pins? A band filled with skin-heads and mohawks? Rawkous vocals? Spitting? Well, Xerox Teens don't really tick any of these boxes, and they describe themselves as punk. So what does this mean? Should we abandon these stereotypes and look at the wider definition? Or should we just listen to Xerox Teens until we die? The latter.

Thus far, this year hasn't been good to us when it comes to 'original' music. Sure, we've had a few decent songs, but not that have really made us go "WHAT?!". And that's where the Xerox Teens come in. Prominent bass lines linger in the air as the vocals switch from 'V-Twin' style scrawls to early-Pulp monologues. The rest of the mix simply sees guitars, keyboards and synths float in and out ominously. I say, 'simply', but I mean ingeniously. Dark. Mysterious. Listen to under the stairs. 10/10 EXPERIMENTAL TEENS STUMBLE ACROSS MAGIC FORMULA

Murder By Death - Brother

We're not ones for sensationalism at Trash Hits, rarely do you hear us banging pots together and shouting out from the rooftops about a band that's come our way. Oh, all right, it may be more common than we'd like to think, but there's a good reason for that; we love bands that are passionate about their music. And - good crikey - Murder By Death fit that bill.

Sounding like an eccentric crossbreed of Johhny Cash, The Decemberists and - spit - Conor Oberst, Murder By Death are more intriguing than that abandoned house at the end of your road. And infinitely more rewarding. 'Brother'  is a dramatic tale of two siblings; accentuated with rampant guitars, glorious strings and the defining line, 'There may be better brothers, but you're the only one that's mine'. The maturity of the band's music is further underlined in the B-side, 'Moon Is Up', which goes some way to bringing Cash back from the grave and is the polar opposite to the care-free nature of the title track. Conor Oberst must be quaking in his 'oh-so fashionable' boots. 9/10 MURDER BY NUMBERS IT AIN'T

Some Velvet Morning - Losing My Mind

Trash Hits in honesty shocker! We've been sitting here in front of our laptops for ages now, trying to think of an interesting introductory paragraph for this single review. All the members of the office were invited to prompt ideas using the age-old formula of 'The Brainstorm' - the whiteboard remained blank. We asked Toby The Courier (whose podgy frame is calling out for a CBBC adaptation) for ideas; he suggested ruminating on the origin of the band's name, i.e. the Lee Hazlewood/Nancy Sinatra song from the 60s. We thought this would make a boring introduction. Thus, we decided to do nothing. Except this bit. Obviously.

'Some Velvet Morning' come across as a band who've studied past and present rock acts, and tried to learn from their examples - a bit like a Mixed Martial Arts fighter. But less violent. There are elements of The Police, Franz Ferdinand, The Manic Street Preachers and - most notably on this single - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club sewn into their music like a luxurious hem. On 'Losing My Mind', this creates a tub-thumping anthem that is as good as it is unoriginal. Worth a listen. 7/10 CHARMING, BUT NOT WORLD-CHANGING

No.1 In February 2007:

Mika - Grace Kelly

Did you know that Kelly was the most popular name for girls born in 1981? And that, the name Grace, has seen it's popularity drop greatly since the nation came to hate Grace from Big Brother? Therefore, the name Grace Kelly - who was also a famous lady from the 1400s - is completely unambiguous to us; we should have no pre-conceived notions as to whether we'll like them. Sadly, the singer's name is not Grace Kelly, it is Mika... which kind of renders this opening paragraph completely pointless. Ho hum. We'll just have to judge him on his music then.

We won't lie to you, we at Trash Hits don't give a damn about looking cool - hell, have you ever seen what we wear on our nights out? We're dags, man. Dags. This is a good thing though, as we can say things like, "We really like Grace Kelly by Mika. It sounds like Robbie Williams spent his life trying to be Freddie Mercury [to be honest, he has - Ed] and then tried to reinvent himself upon hearing the Scissor Sisters". Yeah, we can say all that without fear. We don't have to be trendy, you see. In fact, we don't even know how 'trendy' it is to like Mika. We just think he's a vastly talented singer with a lovingly crafted single. And he looks like he's a lovely lad too. 8/10 MIKA SHOWS VERY GOOD GRACE

Go to January 2007 Singles