Slap my hand. I mean it, slap my hand. Not only has it crept slightly too close to the biscuit tin (therefore endangering my New Years resolution not to throw biscuit tins at chavs) but it deserves a good slap for it’s foolishness at being attached to such a reckless mind - and mouth. Perhaps I should explain [yes, that would be a good idea - Ed].
On Christmas Eve someone asked me whether there were any songs/bands worth listening to this year, as he had found himself out of the musical loop. I responded, “Not really, no. It’s been a crap year for music”. And now here I am, with the impossible task of picking the top 5 singles of the year… from an almost unthinkably good collection. It would seem I suffered from a memory loss almost as tragic as the ‘canoe man’. Slap my bloody hand.
STOP WEB!!!!!!! In a moment of true devotion to the music industry, we have decided to expand the list like the world’s waistband. The list will now be a TOP 10 singles of the year (100% extra free), allowing us to lovingly endorse all those acts not yet getting the airplay they deserve. Make a compilation CD of these tracks and you’ll be the coolest kid in class, if not the year.
Anyway, without further ado, here’s the list:
10. The Indelicates - Julia, We Don’t Live In The 60s: The first of two songs involving a cameo-part by Eddie Argos (who appears waving a placard in the video), The Indelicates have been making a notable impression with their intelligent pop this past year. ‘Julia, We Don’t Live In The 60s’ is (in our opinion) the best of a very good bunch, beautifully combining the lyrical ferocity of Carter USM with all the twee-ness of a Belle and Sebastian market stall.
9. Milk Kan (feat. Dolly Parton) - Here Ya Come Again, And Again: Our second song on the list and already we come across another cameo, this time from the maniacal Dolly Parton. Perhaps better known for chaos than beautiful ballads, Milk Kan must have been listening intently to Dolly’s advice as - together - they have produced one of the most poignant songs of the year. We tried to phone Parton for an interview, but she was off her head on smack and told us to piss off. Sad.
8. The Go! Team - Grip Like A Vice: The Go! Team’s appearance in the list is with a song so funky that any chickens in the vicinity when it’s playing will instantly start strutting their stuff more flamboyantly than John Travolta, when he wasn’t 80. The ultimate song to throw into the last hour of any party; cool, riotous and classy.
7. Murder By Death - Sometimes The Line Walks You: Murder By Death invite comparisons more openly than David Cameron wearing a red tie and smiling like a Cheshire cat. Sure, they sound a hell of a lot like the bastard son of Nick Cave and Johnny Cash, but that’s a better bastard son than many I could think of (we’re looking at you Sean Lennon). Upon listening to this song you are instantly greeted with one of the meatiest riffs in modern music, and things only get more intense from there. MBD are criminally under-valued.
6. The Hot Puppies - King Of England: Coming in at number 6 is a band so rampantly cool that they make David Tennant look like a speccy geek, the wonderful Hot Puppies. Hotly tipped for a while now (two spreads in the Guardian and counting…) the Hot Puppies have been quietly working away on their second album, intermittently releasing sure-fire hits such as this one. However, as this is the 21st century, the charts have yet to accommodate them - damn you all. Listen to Becky Newman’s haunting vocals, groove to the sensational bass line and bloody well go out to buy it.
5. Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm: I know this is an unfashionable choice nowadays (since the Arctic Monkeys became bigger than the Beatles and Stones combined) but there is a reason they’ve become so popular, and this is it. The ability to consistently write such invigorating, exciting, energetic and simplistic (in a good way) rock songs is a genuine gift only accessible to certain artists; just ask The Kooks, The Fratellis, The Editors, Oasis, Kula Shaker, Supergrass, etc…
4. The Black Arts - Christmas Number One: ‘Whoah there Tonto! Where’s this come from?’ you may well ask. Yes, I know, a Christmas song in the best singles of the year list is less traditional than eating fajitas on the 25th of December; but bugger tradition, I love fajitas. A collaboration between Art Brut and Black Box Recorder, the Black Arts have released one of the best Christmas songs of all time - and no-one noticed. Well, we did, and it gives Argos his second appearance in our list - congrats!
3. LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum: Whereas everyone noticed this song. James Murphy may be dominating many end of year lists in 2007, but that’s what you get when you release a sensational single from a fantastic album - sometimes. North American Scum combines deliciously sharp lyrics assessing the world’s view of America with a truly inspirational electronic arrangement which caused raptures in any club it touched, regardless of prejudice. This only makes number 3 on our list however, which begs the question: just how good are the top 2? Read on…
2. Riot in Belgium - La Musique: Perhaps we’re biased, but every member of staff in Trash Hits’ illustrious West London office loved the electroclash scene that existed all too briefly at the turn of the millennium. We hung on every distorted lyric, went to classes on how to dance like a robot and hunted down more white labels than Rough Trade were comfortable with. We are always pleased to see signs that the scene still exists somewhere, albeit in the darker echelons of the industry. We are even more pleased when the signs are as impressive as this, which puts those in Piccadilly Circus to a distant shame. This is perhaps the best electroclash song ever, however it must be heard at ear-bleeding volumes to fully appreciate that. Don’t worry though, your neighbours won’t mind.
1. Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill: And then we have this. Is it a modern interpretation of the bible read over a superbly crafted electronica track? Yes. Is it so much more? Yes. As we have said before we are not afraid of repeating ourselves. We shall repeat ourselves again here: Everyone should be issued with this song as a matter of course. In fact, it disgusts us that you’re not listening to it now. Go on, click on the link - you’ll soon be glad that you did. Preachy, phenomenal and amazing.